Kiss
Puke
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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