You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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