They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
