she looked like the before picture.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
