we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
