On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
