i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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