What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
