dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
