I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
