Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
