sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
