His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
