Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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