Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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