I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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