so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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