no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
