But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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