She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
