is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
