What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
