Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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