my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
