i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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