you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
