Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
