Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
