Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
