Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
