the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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