when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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