yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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