can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
