dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
