Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
