last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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