He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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