This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
