Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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