No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
