brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
