Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
