brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
