I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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