then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
