quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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