he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
