We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
