So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
