Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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