benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
