clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
