He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
