god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
