I want to make a zoo with you.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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