Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
