So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
