Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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