Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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