no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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