I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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